Validation: the New Psychology of Influence

"Warning: this book will make you a better parent, partner, colleague, and friend..." —Adam Grant, NYT bestselling author 

"As an engineer, I appreciate when complex human dynamics can be broken down into practical, actionable steps. Dr. Fleck has done exactly that with validation—a skill that, when mastered, becomes nothing short of a superpower..." —Mark Rober, founder of CrunchLabs

"Dr. Caroline Fleck reminds us that being present, listening, suspending judgment, and really hearing someone is the greatest gift we can give or receive. There is such magic in validation, and Dr. Fleck shines a light on something that can enliven our sense of possibility and self." —Dr. Ramani Durvasula, NYT bestselling author
 
"Validation is a vital skill for fostering real connections and inner resilience. For the first time, we have a clear and practical self-help guide for bringing this often underdeveloped skill into your everyday life... Highly recommended."—Steven C. Hayes, originator of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
 
Unlock the secret to true and lasting change.

We all spend a lot of energy trying to get people to listen to us, and despite our best efforts, we often fail. But what if the secret to influencing others was to demonstrate acceptance?

Enter validation — communication that one accepts and sees the validity in another person's experience.  Research on validation shows that it has profound effects, from improving relationships and de-escalating conflicts to increasing one's influence and self-compassion. In this groundbreaking book, clinical psychologist Caroline Fleck explores how validation's unique ability to demonstrate acceptance while fostering change makes it one of psychotherapy's best-kept secrets. More importantly, she takes us step-by-step through eight skills we can use to communicate validation and experience its power firsthand.

Full of captivating stories, laugh-out-loud moments, and actionable takeaways, Validation reveals how the science of seeing and being seen is the key to inner and interpersonal transformation.