How to Smoke in Public Without Being Seen

Once upon a time you could smoke on a bus on a train and in your own office. Imagine! A nicotine habit didn't make you a social leper consigned to hasty huddled fags on a freezing footpath. Smokers and their habit-free friends enjoyed the sweet smell of tobacco in cosy confined spaces.

Well those days are going going gone. Welcome to a new world order of clean public living and pure air in pubs. Are you ready for it? Are you hell! But don't panic. There'll be no £50 spot fine for continuing to smoke in public just as long as you're clever about it.

Try getting yourself fitted with a catalytic converter. Hide your cigarette inside your asthma inhaler. Smoke through a ventriloquist's dummy. How about wearing a Harry Potter invisibility cloak? This little book holds the secret to a contented cigarette-filled life after the smoking ban. May you puff in peace happily ever after.